This weekend Kevin & I returned from a beautiful wedding in Cabo, we're still adjusting back to the norm and my head is still spinning (mostly because Analise seems to have had a sleep regression since I've been home!) Our first mommy & daddy getaway was a great one- but it definitely did not come completely easy. It was important for us, however, and I'm glad we went. Here is a recap of the trips ups and downs, and how I'm feeling today.
I packed all the pumping supplies, as that was my main concern. Keeping my milk supply up. Though, I only "pumped and dumped" rather than save the milk because it was too difficult to plan to save it and bring it all back. I have a large supply stashed up here in our freezer, so it wasn't necessary. I still have mixed feelings about this because it seemed like such a waste and I know not so many women are blessed with an abundance of breastmilk and extra supply as I have been... that being said, I promised myself I would pump extra over the next few months to save and donate to the Austin milk bank (which I hear is the largest in the US!). Pumping was a pain, especially with the electric pump and it made my me way more sore than I remember, but it was worth it to keep my supply going to resume back to normal here at home, which we've done quite easily.
Not only was it actually painful, but it made me very emotional and sad, especially in the evenings when I love our nursing time the most. The nights were the hardest away from Analise. I decided 2-3 nights is the absolute max I can do away from her. Now I know how Kevin feels every week he has to travel for work- this longing to be close, this absence, this emptiness.
We were able to enjoy ourselves, however, and so much great adult time with a few old and wonderful friends- and meet so many new friends as well. This is what I love about the good people in our lives, they are connectors and they have other good people in their lives- so when we have joyous occasions as this, we can open up to new people and expand the circle of love. In addition to the connections and deep love, there also was time to relax and have (ahem) perhaps a few too many drinks- but it was nice to feel "off the hook" and not responsible, even for a few days. I think it was great for both Kevin and I to have this off-time. At the same time, I'd give up all that adult-time and even the views and relaxation just to hold Analise. I have such mixed feelings about it all. Luckily we didn't have to choose. We get both. We get to be parents to the sweetest and we get to enjoy adult time. We have it all.
I feel such gratitude to my mom and Alan for flying to Austin and staying with Analise and Louie for us this weekend- we owe them so much. And, I'm so happy that they could have the bonding time with her. Living so far from family is so hard sometimes, but it also makes you appreciate these times together even moreso.
This morning, I woke up groggy and bummed. Part of that was due to the fact Analise seemed to have a sleep regression since I've been home. She threw a fit last night at 1:30am and I even had to resort to breastfeeeding at 3am- two steps forward, one step back. But most of the sadness was due to the fact that not only did Kevin leave back to work this week, but Mom and Alan also flew out on the early flight. Just Analise, Louie and I remain.
On the upside, we have 3 beautiful new hand-made stockings hanging on the mantel, a new grill outside and so many memories and love to fill us through the new year. We truly have it all.